Scientists Confirm:
Trump Supporters Less Intelligent,
Lack Sense of Humor, Have Minimal Sex Drive
____________
“What’s left?” Wonders adjunct professor.
John C Flavin
April 5, 2024
(This is satire.)
Scientists have discovered the so-called “haha” gene. That is, a person’s sense of humor is genetic. Researchers say that people can still learn to be funny, and appreciate funny people’s humor, but this discovery means that some are born more predisposed to laughter than others.
Similarly, we are born with a certain level of intelligence. No one decides to be brilliant any more than one decides to be intellectually challenged–or have blond hair and blue eyes, for that matter.
Interestingly, there’s a direct correlation between humor and intelligence. If you’re born with high intelligence, your “haha” gene is likely to be off the hook. Big brains, big laughs.
Harvard scientist Dr. Philip J. Hiltz took these findings a step further. He combined research published by Psychology Today demonstrating the link between intelligence and humor with a Washington Post poll that linked President Trump supporters to lower intelligence. After interviewing thousands of supporters at post-election rallies, Dr. Hiltz concluded they are not only surviving with minimal critical thinking abilities, but they also have lower-than-normal senses of humor.
“Generally speaking,” said Hiltz in an interview, “the mathematics are pretty straightforward. Trump voters are less intelligent and they lack a sense of humor; it’s well-established.”
Hiltz found something else: “Multiple independent studies are supported by my findings, which indicate that when you combine these two factors–scant intelligence and a limited sense of humor–what naturally follows is a general indifference to sex.”
Trump supporters are more sexually disinterested than followers of other Republican candidates, said Hiltz, including Mitt Romney, Marco Rubio, and even Ted Cruz, all of whom had more supporters with college degrees and other kinds of evidence of normal or above intelligence levels.
Diplomas are what Ron Brownstein of The Atlantic Magazine calls the “new Republican fault line.” In 2012, Mitt Romney had clear support among college-educated Republicans, but he “fared worse among non-college voters.”
Hiltz points out that Cruz’s supporters were “extraordinarily average.”
When asked about these findings, Gil Greengross, anthropology professor from the University of New Mexico, said: “Humor ability reveals intelligence, predicts mating success, and it is higher in males.” Unsurprisingly, Greengross’ studies also indicate a clear deficiency in the sex drives of Trump supporters.
Geoffrey Miller, professor of psychology, also from the University of New Mexico, concurred: “Intelligence has been much better studied than humor as a mental fitness indicator: intelligence is one of the most sexually desirable traits for both sexes, is highly heritable, and it correlates with many fitness-related traits, such as physical health and longevity.”
“By and large,” says Greengloss, “Trump voters aren’t very smart, they have little to no sense of humor, and they are effectively asexual.” Then, grimly, he added: “I’m not being political. It’s just math and genetics.”
Because a “bigger” brain is a key element in the sexual selection of a mate, Trump supporters have difficulty competing with more intelligent—and funnier—men. Over many generations, he said, these traits have resulted in an insipid and sexually frustrated male subgroup that has found a home with someone to whom they can relate: President Trump.
The 2016 election drove more white males to the voting booth than ever before, and while science might be able to describe the typical Trump voter, it doesn’t explain why they voted for him to be the leader of the free nation. What qualities does Trump possess, or lack, that appeals so strongly to his voting base?
It’s worth taking a closer look at male psychology; it seems genetics and anatomy play significant roles in supporters’ attraction to Mr. Trump—not policy analysis.
Steven Pinker, author of How the Mind Works, has studied the human brain and behavior for decades:
“We’ve long known that choosing a mate–or a leader, such as the president–is a psychological decision. We choose people with whom we can identify, people who are familiar to us.”
Pinker then added, “Most Trump supporters understood the gravity of their decision in the same way as someone watching reality television: the characters speak for them. They understand his plight first-hand. It’s not easy to be asexual in a sexualized society. By watching the presidential debates last fall, it’s apparent Mr. Trump is insecure about his sexuality. In a way, by voting for him, supporters were validating themselves, which is only natural.”
Pinker apologizes for any Freudian implications.
“Look, when your intelligence is limited, what’s funny to you is slapstick humor—like cartoons or, say, making fun of disabled reporters. And if you’re not smart enough to distinguish between facts and fake news, then someone like Donald Trump–a man with notably small hands and the bravado of a big-time wrestler–speaks to you. That’s just how the mind works.”
If anything divides America, it’s the resentment between those who can and cannot think, those who do and do not laugh, and those who can engage sexually and those who don’t. Recently, this group of men has been identified as a distinct subculture of its own called “incels.” An incel is, “a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile toward women and men who are sexually active.”
It’s a complicated contemporary phenomenon that is not as simple as asking, what came first, the chicken or the egg? The question among Trump supporters, particularly males, is much more complex: what was lost first, the intelligence, the humor, or the impotency? Or were they groomed out of them by intellectually limited, vapid, and asexual men?
We may never know.
The above article is technically fake news.